Luka
Understanding
This is what I listen to when I am stuck in my thoughts.
Cabin Gurl
Blessed & Less Stressed
This is how I plan to have each day when I wake up . We all know that is too good to be true but it’s fun to look forward to .
Well today was a day . My sister came to see me and that is a BLESSING, when it happens . We went to eat but I don’t think we will ever go there again .The food was not good . The food was not even cooked all the way and then the price was ridiculous for food that wasn’t even cooked all the way but anyway , I love anytime I get to spend with her and she feeds me good lol.My sister also brought me this hat for my dreads and in my Rasta colors she knows just what I like .
Family tries I guess ,maybe, at times to understand what I am going through but honestly it passes quick and they lose interests.I sit and wonder what is other people thinking or saying about me when I am not around because I am the Crazy One in the family so I don’t fit in . I have never really fit in anyway with my family . I am sure that stems from conception but all that is out of my control. My mom doesn’t even know my father’s name or any info about him so I will never know him . At 46yrs old now I can’t lie I do tend to think do I have other family members out there ?. I wonder is there someone out there that could of saved me from the abuse in the past from my mom . But I know that none of this matters now anyway ,but them thoughts that are crashing in my head along with all those millions of thoughts that I can’t decipher. During the mania from my polarism(I am almost positive I just made up that word.) and the flashbacks from the PTSD I am learning to pay attention to my mind and body so that I can learn myself inside and out .
LIFE WITH MENTAL ILLNESS
MENTAL ILLNESS IS REAL AND NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY BY ENOUGH PEOPLE
Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.
— Oscar Wilde.
This is the first post on my new blog. I am new at this blogging thing but I hear it’s the latest fad for writers and that’s all I want to do is write and let people see that mental illness may not go away but as I have been taught by great doctors it can be managed within yourself.I have been dual diagnosed since I was a young child. I have PTSD,OCD,Bi-Polar with major anxiety and depression. Sounds like alot I know but I have managed to make it to my 46th birthday .So I must be managing it well.
**** THIS IS AN ADULT CONTENT BLOG ! *****Not suitable for anyone under 18 Adult Language
and Subjects are on my blog .
My blog will talk about my life living with dual diagnosed mental illness.
There will be humor, sadness whatever is going on in my life daily !
My blog contains videos, voice recordings, pictures ,reviews of movies , tv shows and anything else I feel I should share with all my friends around the world . There is also a link to my other social media . I am like an open book to yall: https://www.tiktok.com/@babydreadztatz
Please FOLLOW ME , and FEEL FREE ALWAYS TO LEAVE COMMENTS OR SUGGESTIONS ! *****
A little about Me!
I am writing this blog and allow the public to see it because this is a way for me to stay connected to the outside world without me having to be scared to venture back out into that world that only brings me pain and tears and confusion. I will blog daily and open my world up to yall and hopefully you will get comfortable enough to send comments and share some of your world and life stories and experiences with me as well. I have always had a love and passion for writing . I used to write poems and even songs that was just stuck in my head with all the thoughts that I can never control . Anyone with mental illness probably understands clearly what I am talking about. On my blog we may talk about anything :movies,tv shows, mental illness most definately and some reviews on people,places,and things. I had a sister that passed away in 2005 and she asked me to promise her that I will continue to write and let people know what life has been or me and hopefully other people that have had the same experiences will see that they are not alone. She was my world and my life has never been the same since her heart beat last. I am a proud mother of two ,they are all grown up now and have their own lives. I miss them like crazy . I have a daughter that is 29and a son that is 27and 2 beautiful grandkids from my son.
Long Nights with Night terrors
I have the longest nights because I have night terrors when I fall asleep and it’s dark outside , so I have trained myself to stay up through the dark and only sleep during the daylight.For people that aren’t familiar with night terrors they aren’t the same as nightmares. Night terrors are so much worse atleast mine are. It’s as if the demons are coming out to play and I have no control over them until I am able to wake myself up out of them. In my night terrors I can feel ,smell, and hear the people that have hurt me and it’s like it is happening all over again. They say oh just move past your tragedy and forget it . Well Unfortunately it doesn’t work like that for me. I would love to know what it is like to beable to forget all these bad things that have taken over my life. After night terrors my body is worn out for days. I can feel the people that have hurt me and it’s as if they are right there. The men that violated me as a child might think they got away with it and I was just another victim of theirs, but I am NO LONGER A VICTIM BUT A SURVIVOR! I understand what people that have been abused and mistreated feel like. Alot of people will never be okay with accepting the inner and outter scars that people have put on them or in them . I refuse to be ashamed of something I had no control over. I want to beable to talk to people that are going through things like I have and let them see that WE CAN MAKE IT.
Perfectly Imperfect 