As this holiday gets closer it always makes me sad even when I know it means nothing really .

I guess because I feel like this is one day that makes people realize how alone or unloved they really are .

For some people that isn’t a nice realization. My daughter used to say she would be my Valentine 💕. I loved that but now she is married . So her wife will be her Valentines .

I was never prepared for my kids to leave me and get their own lives . I have always felt like they are mine and I would never feel alone again . Unfortunately even that comes to an end at some point . It has to so they can spread their wings . But it hurts 💔.

I have ONE GOOD MEMORY that always comes to me getting close to Valentines and that was when a friend bought me balloons 🎈, candy 🍭, and flowers 🌺. I ❤️ flowers . I dream one day someone will actually send some to me like people used to do .

You know all those thoughts that are constantly racing in my mind the one that sticks out is this countdown for VALENTINES. Ughhhh

I don’t wanna be a sour puss on everyone’s Valentines so I hope that everyone enjoys that day .

So I asked Alexa where Valentines Day came from and she gave me some interesting info and of course I am gonna share it with y’all. Please feel free to follow , leave likes and comments . Be blessed !

So I have been invited to meet a new person and just thinking about doing that makes my❤️skip a beat because it seriously scares me .

God has given me a safe place away from this mean 🌎 which is my cabin and I know I need to make baby steps back into the world with people but I have a serious fear of that .

Ever since I was invited last night I can’t shake that sharp feeling in my chest cause I don’t know if I can do it . It means a lot to my new friend I told y’all about earlier in my blog but the anxiety just thinking about it scares me to death straight to my heart. ❤️.

I used to beable to do so much and then after a terrible event on my life I am stuck with these fears again like I was as a young child .

So I asked Alexa why does meeting new people bring on such bad anxiety for my ptsd and she said, “I am sorry I don’t know 🤷‍♂️ that .” Well dang Alexa thanks a lot 🤔!

So next I turned to Google and they gave me some good information about my ptsd but didn’t have info on maybe a way I can bypass this fear even if for only a moment . But I want to share to info with anyone who needs it . As always feel free to like , leave comments and follow .