Cabingurl A Teen Mom

A Teen Mom’s Blessing

October 11, 1990 a blessing was born to a young girl that was told she could never make it as a young teen mom and she should give her baby up for adoption or abortion. This now teen mom was Cabingurl and she was only sixteen years old.

Cabingurl had given birth to a beautiful babygirl six pounds four ounces. The funny thing about that is her and her mom and grandmother all weighed the same when they were born as well.

She gave her new little blessing the name Seaira; the meaning was personal to Cabingurl. In her own way that name meant that this baby girl was her everything her sea, and air, all that she would ever need now.

When the nurses handed that little tiny miracle to Cabingurl she just cried. At that moment she realized that she felt real love from another human being. This beautiful tiny baby that she created and carried for 9 months. She delivered baby Seaira within twenty-six minutes, and with no medicine.

Not only did Cabingurl know that this was a new beginning for her and her babygirl but she also hoped that this was the end of all the abuse from her mother.

At the age of nine years old Cabingurl was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and later at the age of fourteen years old she was also diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) .So she was what the doctors considered dual diagnosed. So her everyday life was a struggle.

At that very moment she knew that her life was going to be a struggle, but this time the struggle was for her and her child. Now she was considered an adult and she could now break this cycle of abuse that everyone kept telling her would be in her family forever. She was determined to prove that they were wrong and the abuse would stop with her.

Seaira didn’t have a father in her life. Cabingurl turned to her best friend and they conceived this baby girl Cabingurl. was scared and didn’t want to share her baby with any man and she felt like even know she loved her best friend, she didn’t feel that he was in a good enough place in his life to take on that responsibility. Cabingurl felt as if her baby was all she had. Going through what she did with the men her mom sold her to as a child made Cabingurl was scared to have men anywhere near her daughter.

Cabingurl was living in a very abusive home her whole life. Her mom always beat on her and even went as far as selling her to men when she was only what people consider a toddler. Yes she had lived a horrible life in this short time that she had been on earth and that pain is all she knew. Seaira made her feel love. She was just so tired of being her mom’s punching bag, and source of income from these disgusting men that her mom sold her to. She also didn’t have a dad and wanted to find him, but her own mom couldn’t remember the men’s names that she had slept with at the time she conceived Cabingurl . Her mom always told her that she never wanted her and that she found her under a stump. She would say things to Cabingurl like, “I didn’t want you and I tried to miscarry you, even threw myself down steps and your little hardheaded but still lived.” In the beginning it would hurt Cabingurl but eventually she was used to it and it no longer bothered her.

There would be times that Cabingurl’s mom would be beating on her and her siblings would cry and say, “Cabingurl just cry that’s all she wants to see and then she will stop. She just no longer had tears for the beatings because it was as if her body became numb to the beatings no matter what she was getting hit with iron skillet (heated), broom, lamps, belts, switches. Sometimes whatever was not attached to the floor.

The schools would remove Cabingurl from the classroom and send her to the school counselor where they would have her undress and take weekly photos of the new bruises and welts or injuries she had acquired from her mom. It came to a point where the school just said that Cabingurl was no longer allowed to wear short sleeve shirts, or shorts to school because the wounds from the beatings were scaring the other kids attending. Once again another person that knew what was going on and did not make any attempts to help her, or remove her from that abusive house. There were even parents of Cabingurl’s friends, no matter how few there was would report this abuse to Social Services but they didn’t care. That was just another file on their desk. No Worries to them or their families. The few times that social services did follow up they would come out to her house talk to her mom and cause Cabingurl to once again get beat. When her mom was mad about the visit from the social services Cabingurl’s momma would tell her, “If you open your mouth and say anything about the whippings they will separate you girls and you will never see your family again or I will send you to Juvenile Detention Center”. Cabingurl wished her mom would send her there because maybe the abuse would stop and no more nasty, stinky, drunk men would be able to violate her anymore, but her mom lied she never sent her. If you think about it why would she, because that meant giving her punching bag away.

This is the beginning of bits and pieces of my life that I am sharing with everyone . I will continue to share more as I am comfortable with letting people in.