Blessed & Less Stressed

This is how I plan to have each day when I wake up . We all know that is too good to be true but it’s fun to look forward to .

Well today was a day . My sister came to see me and that is a BLESSING, when it happens . We went to eat but I don’t think we will ever go there again .The food was not good . The food was not even cooked all the way and then the price was ridiculous for food that wasn’t even cooked all the way but anyway , I love anytime I get to spend with her and she feeds me good lol.My sister also brought me this hat for my dreads and in my Rasta colors she knows just what I like .

Family tries I guess ,maybe, at times to understand what I am going through but honestly it passes quick and they lose interests.I sit and wonder what is other people thinking or saying about me when I am not around because I am the Crazy One in the family so I don’t fit in . I have never really fit in anyway with my family . I am sure that stems from conception but all that is out of my control. My mom doesn’t even know my father’s name or any info about him so I will never know him . At 46yrs old now I can’t lie I do tend to think do I have other family members out there ?. I wonder is there someone out there that could of saved me from the abuse in the past from my mom . But I know that none of this matters now anyway ,but them thoughts that are crashing in my head along with all those millions of thoughts that I can’t decipher. During the mania from my polarism(I am almost positive I just made up that word.) and the flashbacks from the PTSD I am learning to pay attention to my mind and body so that I can learn myself inside and out .